


i’ve done the same

by hawkinzclub



Series: what do we do now? [2]
Category: Stranger Things (TV 2016)
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-28
Updated: 2019-06-28
Packaged: 2020-05-20 18:07:27
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,479
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19381978
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hawkinzclub/pseuds/hawkinzclub
Summary: Jane Hopper goes to a funeral. She decides she’ll never go to one again.





	i’ve done the same

**Author's Note:**

> i made an uh-oh and forgot to tag this in the series!! but this is after ‘a murder charge’

Jane hates funerals.

She’s only been to one, and it was about twenty minutes ago, but she hates them.

At first she didn’t think it would be so bad. She was in a dress, and her hair was straightened, she looked pretty. Jim, even wore a suit.

Joyce described a funeral as ‘ _letting our loved ones, free_.’ 

And as much as she didn’t want to let Dustin go, she figured she had to. 

They arrived and Jane wanted to bounce to her friends and hug them, squeeze them and never let go because they weren’t having a funeral, she didn’t have to be free of them just yet. But as she walked across the dewey grass and felt the water bounce off of her skin, she realized that there would be no bouncing up to anybody.

Claudia Henderson was so still, Jane had never seen her this quiet before. She had her arms around herself, and if it weren’t for the intense grief and anger, Jane would say her eyes were lifeless. Much like the corpse that she stood over.

Dustin Henderson had never been so still either, and a few feet over was the grave of Billy Hargrove, and even though she didn’t, because of Jim’s don’t be stupid rules; she wanted to blow that headstone to hell. Where its occupant now resided.

Jim had tried to _reason_ with her about the boy.

” _He killed him.”_

_Jim rubbed his hands over his face and sighed, “No one is to blame here, kid.”_

_She stabbed at her eggos furiously, too angry to actually put it in her mouth and chew, “Yes. Billy Hargove is to blame.”_

_He sat down at the table in front of her and gave her a hard stare. “He was just a scared kid.”_

_And secretly, deep down, Hopper wanted someone to blame, too. But he had to set an example for his daughter, try to show her to be a good person, at all times._

_Jane thinks that she was just a scared kid, when the demogorgon tried to hurt her friends but she didn’t run away. She fought, hard, despite her exhaustion and she saved her friends. She didn’t run away in fear. She wasn’t a coward._

_She stared back at him, just as hard, “He was just a coward.”_

_”Kid -“_

_She cut him by getting up out of her chair and walking over to the bookcase and pulling out the dictionary. She hears his grumbles of distress, but she flips through the pages anyways, and holding the book out, paper facing Jim as she found what she was looking for._

_She points at the word, “Here is our word for today. C-O-W-A-R-D. **Coward**.” She throws the book down at the ground, not bothering to clean up either of her messes and she slams the door to her room._

She’s jostled from her thoughts when Jim places a hand on her shoulder, a signal that it’s time for them to go. She makes her way over to her friends and finds them in a heated argument.

Max’s red hair is striking against the fog and her blue eyes are hard in anger. “Mike, shut up!”

”No, no. I won’t shut up.” His suit is all wrinkly from his movement, and his eyes are rimmed red. Much like everyone else’s. “If _he_ were there, Dustin would be here.”

Jane walks closer and speaks cautiously, “What’s wrong?”

Will speaks up, although quietly and he doesn’t meet her gaze as he fiddles with his fingers, “Mike thinks that if Steve were there then -“

Max cuts him off, “That’s _stupid_. How do you know that what happened wouldn’t have happened?”

Mike just rolls his eyes, “Well maybe, _he_ would have died instead of Dustin.”

And Jane knows that he doesn’t really mean it, he’s just angry, but it still doesn’t make her feel any better.

Lucas shoves at Mike after his comment, “Stop, man. That’s just wrong.”

”It’s alright Lucas, Mike doesn’t care about any one else’s feelings but his own.” She steps closer to Mike, getting in his face. “We all lost Dustin.”

She pauses for a moment and tears linger around the edges of her eyelids. She gestures angrily at everyone around her, “We _all_ lost him.” Jane tries to ignore the quiver in her voice.

Mike doesn’t say a word, he just huffs in a breath and goes over to Billy Hargrove’s grave and kicks at his headstone. 

And okay, it’s wrong but Jane would be lying if she said she didn’t want to do the same thing.

Before Max could retaliate, Joyce and Mrs. Wheeler come running over, and they yank at Mike, but he won’t let up. And Jane is tired because if they want to be technical about it (her word of the day last week) then they were all to blame.

Her and Max were too busy giggling at the cabin and being girlfriends. Lucas was obligated by family time. Will had moved away, and Mike was visiting him, again. And Steve, he really was busy. Because before she went back to the cabin with Max, she was one of the hundreds of customers swarming the ice cream shop.

But Jane didn’t want to be technical, because the only person responsible is dead, and Mike is kicking at his grave. And although she would love for him to completely knock it over, Claudia Henderson is crying now, and Joyce and Mrs. Wheeler are still prying at him, and Max is sobbing into her hands and everything is going to shit. So Jane tilts her head, secretly she hopes, and trips Mike up with her mind mid-kick, and he falls to the ground.

Even though no one else saw, Jim saw, and he has enough of a reaction for the twenty people at the funeral.

”Jane Hopper let’s go, now.”

She gives Max a squeeze before she does, and before she could pull away Hopper started pulling her by her hands and deposited her into his truck. He started the car and Jane just waited for him to blow up.

He pulls off and looks at her, “What were you thinking?”

She doesn’t falter, just continued to stare ahead, “He wouldn’t stop. Mrs. Henderson was crying.”

”So you just decided to use your powers, huh? Like Mike was a puppet and you’re the puppet master?” 

Jane rolls her eyes and stares at him in the eyes, “I don’t know what that means.”

And she does know, but whenever he yells at her something with she doesn’t understand, the argument pretty much stops right there.

She turns to look out the window and she braces herself again as she suggest something that would definitely raise his blood pressure.

”I want to see him.”

He’s quiet, so she continues.

”Indiana State Penitentiary. I want to see him.”

He pulls over quickly and yanks the keys out of the ignition. Yep, raised blood pressure.

”Oh yeah? You want to go see a killer?”

”What?”

He uses his pointer finger and shakes it at her, “Steve Harrington is in prison because he killed someone. You are not seeing him.”

And Hopper, feels bad for the boy. He let his emotions get the best of him, but he wasn’t going to allow Jane in that place, full of actual threats besides the Harrington kid. He just wants her safe.

Jane just drops her jaw and stares at him with wide eyes, “So I should be there too.”

And it’s Jim’s turn to say, “ _What_?”

She sits her hand on the dash and slams it down everytime she says that word, “I’ve killed. So should I be there too, I’ve killed people.”

He just shakes his head and runs his thumb and index finger across his brows, “Don’t do that kid. You’re not bad, not a criminal.” He pulls out a pack and cigarettes and shakes one out, “You had to do those things.”

”I know I did. Steve had to do it too.”

He sighs angrily and rubs his face again, “No kid, he didn’t. He made that choice and now he’s paying for it.”

She shakes her head hard, once, and her hair flew into her face and she shoves it away, harshly. “Yes he did. He was hurting. Dustin was his brother, and the only person who cared about him.”

He looks at her with a look that she can’t understand, not until he says what he says. “We’re all hurting, kid. But none of us had the thought to kill Billy Hargove.” And Jane could feel that lie.

And she never lies, always honest, she says, “I had the thought. Only Steve got to him before I could.”

And Jim has nothing left to say to that. So they continue driving off from the funeral, dragging the pain and grief along with them.

 


End file.
